At some points over the years, rather at many points over the years, we all have definitely had dreams about how our life was going to turn out... Almost 27 now, this is definitely not where I pictured myself!
Academics/Career:
While my fantasies decidedly did not involve a mansion in Bora-Bora, or a buxom blonde who'd regard me as the greatest thing since sliced bread (umm.. maybe the latter :D), it did revolve around a vocation which I'd love to pursue. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out what that is, in the last 26 years.
Currently I'm stuck in a job that I do not mind one bit, though it does involve reporting to one particularly nasty specimen of the human race. An outstanding example of spineless sycophancy liberally garnished with slimy hypocrisy!
Strike One!
Non-platonic relationships:
Biggest catastrophe EVER. Single since 1982, destined to remain so!
My problem is that I'm not a peoples person. Period. So if someone calls me on the phone and starts wailing after the customary 'Hello', the kindest thing I can do for her is probably slam the phone, and the cruelest, that would be trying to help her out with advice.
And the worst part is the crappy Malayalam soap emotional drama monologues "You are not the same, Eby", "All guys are the same" punctuated with sobs of a size that would solve the water problems of Somalia. Let it be known that the only things I like fat are my bean bags, my grilled chicken and my utopian paycheque.
I want to be with the woman I love, not just on some crappy Valentine's day, but everyday... And I want her to love me back... And then I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never going to happen... Joey, yeah, but still bullseye...
Strike Two!
The next pitch:
Homerun or will I hear "Strike Three! You're out!"?
Curiosity killed the centaur :P
Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" sucks major :(
Academics/Career:
While my fantasies decidedly did not involve a mansion in Bora-Bora, or a buxom blonde who'd regard me as the greatest thing since sliced bread (umm.. maybe the latter :D), it did revolve around a vocation which I'd love to pursue. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out what that is, in the last 26 years.
Currently I'm stuck in a job that I do not mind one bit, though it does involve reporting to one particularly nasty specimen of the human race. An outstanding example of spineless sycophancy liberally garnished with slimy hypocrisy!
Strike One!
Non-platonic relationships:
Biggest catastrophe EVER. Single since 1982, destined to remain so!
My problem is that I'm not a peoples person. Period. So if someone calls me on the phone and starts wailing after the customary 'Hello', the kindest thing I can do for her is probably slam the phone, and the cruelest, that would be trying to help her out with advice.
And the worst part is the crappy Malayalam soap emotional drama monologues "You are not the same, Eby", "All guys are the same" punctuated with sobs of a size that would solve the water problems of Somalia. Let it be known that the only things I like fat are my bean bags, my grilled chicken and my utopian paycheque.
I want to be with the woman I love, not just on some crappy Valentine's day, but everyday... And I want her to love me back... And then I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never going to happen... Joey, yeah, but still bullseye...
Strike Two!
The next pitch:
Homerun or will I hear "Strike Three! You're out!"?
Curiosity killed the centaur :P
Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" sucks major :(
"sobs of a size that would solve the water problems of Somalia" - nice!
ReplyDelete//Single since 1982, destined to remain so!// It would be me, if it were 84!!
ReplyDeleteEby, this is so you, rude and in-your-face! I'm not complaining!:D
I take pride in giving Sarcasm a whole other persona :D
ReplyDeleteOld wine, yes, but in a decanter, instead of a plain bottle :P