Happy Birthday

A year of "Black Ice" memories.

A year of street lights blurring into each other as the needle on your odometer sways dangerously close to red.

A year since I tried to drive you home from the office parking lot on a Friday evening, without knowing how to turn on the headlights and panicked when I couldn't see the road!

A year of lovingly (and obsessively!) washing and waxing you every Friday, much to the consternation and confusion of those who have seen the aftermath-of-a-tornado condition of my room!

A year of insanity cures, driving through the night, down the hills, through hundreds of thousands of streets, not knowing the time or place, not knowing where we start, where we're going or where we end up afterwards.

A year of the purr of the engine telling me things I don't want to hear, the amber eyes dispelling the dark, and the fear.

A year spent learning that I don't get into you because I'm a driver. I do it because I'm driven.

 Happy Birthday Mi Bonita, Mi Bella, Mi Preciosa!

For surviving a year of my long drives, high-g turns and general dementia!

It took quite a bit of time, but I figured out that my type are those that pursue me, make me stay, and then walk away.

There is something really scary about how valuable you let some (things/people) become. How significant they are. The big chunk they possess in your life. And how much them walking away means this enormous vacuous void inside you, like missing jigsaw puzzle pieces, even if you know, or at the very least, have a pretty good idea of what the whole picture looks like.

Fear is always an intricate part of who we are. But with it, hidden away, there also comes a calm acceptance. And the innate cognition that you must stay who you were, inspite of the innumerous crucifixions that are sure to come your way.

Accepting that loss is not easy, never will be. But the knowledge of the inevitable and the willingness to be pliant might make it easier to bear. Keyword, might.

Everyone has demons of their own. And no matter how hard, how far, how fast you run, there are some demons you just can't evade.

The vagaries of life.