Things you should and should not do as a fellow cubicle-er:
1. When talking on the desk phone, irrespective of whether you are talking to onsite, to your kid/spouse/parents or to the maid in your house, please keep your decibel levels to a limit that ensures your voice reaches the receiver. Currently, the only people who are unable to squirm when you talk are the cremated and the interred.
2. When attending to personal calls on your cell phone, especially with your spouse, please make it a practice to move away from the cubicle and converse. People who understand Telugu start smirking 2 minutes into your conversation, and later provide me with a vivid translation of the same, despite my vociferous protests and robust attempts to block my hearing.
3. When making a call from my VoIP phone, please do not use the speaker if you are the only person at this end, just so that you can rest your massive forearms on my desk, on my chair or on my shoulders. None of these "beasts of labour" are resilient enough to withstand the load or the "sweet fragrance" emanating from certain places. Oh, and if you happen to be standing behind me, please do not press up against me. I'm single, I'm not desperate. And you are married and have a kid. Of SEVEN years!
4. Privacy is a much-sought form of freedom, as is the Freedom of Expression. While you are free to look about as much as you want, please desist from exercising the liberty to view my screen when you are using my phone or when you just happen to be sneaking up behind my back. Who I'm chatting with, what mails/documents/programs/websites I have open or the big fat stain of your drool on the back of my shirt are none of your concern.
5. If I have a pack of cookies/wafers/anything-
6. When in a conference room, attending status calls and the like, please stop staring at me, or in my general direction if you are staring into space. It makes me want to push my fingers through my nose and pop my eyes out. Please look at the beautiful golf course and the lavish open fields and hills stretching away into oblivion, right next to B18-19.
7. My name is EBY, pronouced AE-BE! Not YE-BE or YA-BE! And definitely not E-BAY! BLEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!! I love my name, please do not turn it into a grotesque nightmare!
PS: I do not use the term "cubicle-mate", because the monstrosity of a female, sitting diagonally opposite to my seat in my cubicle, is not my mate (meaning 'friend')!
PPS: Despite the title, I am aware that this post is anything but courteous
PPPS: Being Nice is one Vice I totally do not suffer from!
1. When talking on the desk phone, irrespective of whether you are talking to onsite, to your kid/spouse/parents or to the maid in your house, please keep your decibel levels to a limit that ensures your voice reaches the receiver. Currently, the only people who are unable to squirm when you talk are the cremated and the interred.
2. When attending to personal calls on your cell phone, especially with your spouse, please make it a practice to move away from the cubicle and converse. People who understand Telugu start smirking 2 minutes into your conversation, and later provide me with a vivid translation of the same, despite my vociferous protests and robust attempts to block my hearing.
3. When making a call from my VoIP phone, please do not use the speaker if you are the only person at this end, just so that you can rest your massive forearms on my desk, on my chair or on my shoulders. None of these "beasts of labour" are resilient enough to withstand the load or the "sweet fragrance" emanating from certain places. Oh, and if you happen to be standing behind me, please do not press up against me. I'm single, I'm not desperate. And you are married and have a kid. Of SEVEN years!
4. Privacy is a much-sought form of freedom, as is the Freedom of Expression. While you are free to look about as much as you want, please desist from exercising the liberty to view my screen when you are using my phone or when you just happen to be sneaking up behind my back. Who I'm chatting with, what mails/documents/programs/websites I have open or the big fat stain of your drool on the back of my shirt are none of your concern.
5. If I have a pack of cookies/wafers/anything-
6. When in a conference room, attending status calls and the like, please stop staring at me, or in my general direction if you are staring into space. It makes me want to push my fingers through my nose and pop my eyes out. Please look at the beautiful golf course and the lavish open fields and hills stretching away into oblivion, right next to B18-19.
7. My name is EBY, pronouced AE-BE! Not YE-BE or YA-BE! And definitely not E-BAY! BLEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!! I love my name, please do not turn it into a grotesque nightmare!
PS: I do not use the term "cubicle-mate", because the monstrosity of a female, sitting diagonally opposite to my seat in my cubicle, is not my mate (meaning 'friend')!
PPS: Despite the title, I am aware that this post is anything but courteous
PPPS: Being Nice is one Vice I totally do not suffer from!
Feeling: Unsure
Listening: Aa Jao Meri Tamanna
