What is it with some people and their innate propensity for drama??? Just WTF!
News Flash 1: Eby is never online on GTalk. Period. Never. Ever. So if there is a green colour blinking away to glory next to Ebyster on your GTalk list, it is a small (in)significant cog of a massive cosmic conspiracy, because Eby is never online! Eby is always invisible on GTalk. If Eby is ever actually online, he will respond to your ping even if the response doubles up as an expletive! Unless you are Mamta Kulkarni or worse. So if you find Eby not responding to your pings, do not call Eby up and start yelling at him (going all shrill and whiny IS yelling), because that is bound to get him angry and he will label your behaviour as "melodrama", which it is.
News Flash 2: Eby is old school! He becomes drowsy by 6 in the evening and nods off at 8PM. And yes he wakes up at 4AM. So if you call Eby after 8 in the evening and he does not pick up, it means he has slept. Would you really want him to call you back at 4AM, when he wakes up?? You don't think so? Well, neither does he.
News Flash 3: Eby has never been fond of long conversations on the phone, unless it's with someone he really really likes. Platonic or non-platonic. Butterfly calls me, I love talking to her, I will talk for hours. My brother calls me, I will talk for hours. My best friend calls me, I will talk to her for days! So if YOU call him up and say (in a cloying voice) "BOLO", he has nothing to "bolo", if he had something to "bolo", he would have called you up and done the "bolo". I mean, Jesus Christ, do people never realise that sometimes they act like the humanoid equivalent of Valium???
News Flash 4: Eby does not like being taken for granted. There are very few people who have that liberty. Actually two. My brother and my best friend. So if you think you can stand by quietly while your pathetic boyfriend (who, by the way, is also a pathetic excuse for a human being) can threaten Eby about his balls not remaining in place, and Eby will grin and bear it, you are wrong. If you think, you can disown Eby and get away with it, you are wrong. If you think you can explain all the crap away with a "I took you for granted only because I trust you so much Eby" (Did you even listen to this when you said it???), you are wrong!
News Flash 5: Eby is an insanely private person, where "insanely" is insanely insufficient in instantiating the intended intensity!! He does not like irrelevant trivia about him being sold like hot cakes to the rest of the world, for eg: which book Eby got from his brother when he came to Pune. He also doesn't like suddenly being handed the phone from which you have called up some mutual acquaintance, especially if that acquaintance happens to be a pretty girl, who, because of this out-of-the-azure-blue call, might equate Eby with the word "CREEP"!
Oh and if you assume all this is pertaining to you only then you are wrong! All this has been written about a lot of people. You are not the center of the universe. A person can be pissed about a lot of things. So if you ask him, "What did I do now?" or something similar, you are bound to piss him off a lot more. His world does NOT revolve around you.
Corny, sincere request, no corny comments please! You don't want to be lambasted, left, right, centre and, for good measure, up the centre as well.
Feeling: How do you put "AAARRRGGGHHH" in words?
Listening: Diagon Alley - John Williams
