In Defense of Hypocrisy

Disclaimer: Written by a fellow InfyBlogger of the PotpourriForMySoul fame :) Since I'm not what you'd call "a good writer" (self-deprecation, yaay!), I'm showcasing brilliant efforts of others! 

In Defense of Hypocrisy
Yes, you read it right! Am I advocating it? Maybe. I wouldn’t say it out if I were, would I now? That’s the mark of a true hypocrite.

Let us face the truth. If it weren’t for hypocrisy, it’d be a battlefield out here. The neighbor who irritates you, the boss who’s after your life…they’d all be dead by now! Venom coated in honey does the trick. Hypocrisy makes the world a safer, a better place. 

This is why I smile at you when all I want to do is slit your throat. It saves me a lot of energy and you, a lot of trouble. You say you’re a saint. I believe you. You smile at that girl you like and say you’ll be there for her. And then you realize you have to look out for yourself. So you conveniently shrug your shoulders and forget it all. The kid who cons you with his smile is one too. All he wants is your attention. He just pretends it’s your love. The politician says he’s going to save us all, we trust him, but both know that the words uttered are hollow. Even God is caught up in the game as he sees his coffers fill up.

Superficial is the word! You may deny it all you want. I, unlike you, am not afraid to say this. I laugh when all I want to do is break down. I do things which I think aren’t right. I put up with strangers who think I am nice. There are emotions I cannot make sense of and do not want to make sense of. Ridicule me, laugh at me! However, I have the last laugh. I am what I want you to believe I am. I strip my soul, and find I’m just another hypocrite!

P.S. My mood is at odds with my piece! But then, this hypocrite is up on a rainbow and refuses to wake up! :)

Sigh... This is so spiteful, so up-yours! Now when will I learn to write like this?

Feeling : Cranky

Listening : Temperature - Sean Paul

To the nice guys

Disclaimer: No way can I get close to writing my heart out in this brilliant a fashion; this is merely my way of paying homage to someone else's brilliance :)

This is a tribute to the nice guys.

The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.

This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

-An article from the Wharton undergrad school magazine

Note from BlogAuthor:

GuysLikeThat – Self-Respect matters, more than anything else!

GirlsLikeThat – Go drown yourselves!

Speed Demon

Gachibowli to Shangrila Plaza beyond Jubilee Hills checkpost in 20 minutes, at 6:30PM rush hour traffic on a Monday evening... Either I'm Schumacher or I'm suicidal :D:D:D

Sometimes I scare myself and my pillion rider with my driving :P Rash driving generally happens only when I'm driving alone, but in this case a friend had to get to class at 7PM, so that looked like a job for Superman; for the faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part, not the muscles-of-steel part... Although I do have a hide like a rhino's :P

I used to be an idealist once upon a time... Atleast for some close to ten years I used to call myself an idealist... I had dreams of a better world... I had a strong social consciousness... I did not worry about where money came from and went to... And now I look at myself in the mirror and wonder where or when the change came... When was idealism beaten out of my conscience...

I learnt to move on in life... and I'm still learning... I'm learning to pick up the shards of my dreams and start all over again, even from scratch if I have to... Standing on the edge of the cliff is easy, there is always a beautiful world in front of me, as long as I manage not to fall :)

Life's doesn't offer anything on a platter to anyone.. Have to come to terms with that!

Damn... I feel like I just wrote a premise for the next reality show featuring Rakhi Sawant and Rahul Mahajan! I will blame this on unexplained celestial movements and my adrenalin-fueled drive in the evening :D

 

Feeling : Drained

Listening : Tanha Tanha - Rangeela

What's in a Name

I suppose Shakespeare was the one who said "What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell just as sweet."

Now while I do not harbour any uncertainty whatsoever about the literary genius of this bloke, I have serious doubts about his interpersonal skills!! If he were to refer to the rose as, say, a shoe-flower, the rose would object, if it could, to having that, which the referrer would wear while stepping through dung, in its name...

Similarly, if I had a girlfriend (big IF, yes, but go along with me here :P), and in the process of making love to her, if I happen to shout out another feminine name, rest assured, she would have quite a bit of shouting to do too!

My name, for example, is an infrequently encountered one and often the butt of horrid humour (ABCD on the lines of Sue-kar mere mann ko)... And yet I do not like mutated monikers like Ebay, Aby, Abey, Jhon or Thamas! Shortened forms like 'Eb' are fine, I have a friend who calls me that too :)

Right, discourse over! I'm having the time of my life, with a set of friends I have never even seen or met in real life, courtesy InfyBlogs! The last two weeks have been tummy-ripping hilarious, over mails, communicator and blog posts! I'm sure when we eventually meet, the maximum they will laugh because of me will be because I will be standing, blissfully unaware that my fly is open :$

I just remembered that I started this post because I wasn't sleepy :D And now sleep is starting to flit in so much that I'm hoping to fall asleep as I write! I only hope I don't drool over the keyboard, else my hard-earned laptop will give up it's ghost, like my old mobile (which, to my utter dismay, wasn't designed to handle my weight :P)

Speaking in officially cold terms, I have been released from my project, but still am blocked for the same account... Of course, I still hear the Gandhian speech about being productive and not "having fun in the project at the expense of others"... And that comes from a person who has two faces, as different as night and later-that-night... It's just funny, painfully funny... Or maybe just painful :D

This guy now officially tops my list of "People to kill before I'm 40", closely followed by Kareena Kapoor!! And owing to incidents mentioned previously on this blog, a certain person has climbed to the third spot and is sniffing Kareena's neck currently :P Sometimes I wonder how many to-be-butchered lists, I have a prestigious place in!! Well, doesn't matter, as long as they get my name right!!

What's in NaME?? ME for starters!!


Feeling : Insomniac!

Listening : Saawan mein lag gayi aag - Mika

Reality Sucks... Bigtime

At some points over the years, rather at many points over the years, we all have definitely had dreams about how our life was going to turn out... Almost 27 now, this is definitely not where I pictured myself!

Academics/Career:
While my fantasies decidedly did not involve a mansion in Bora-Bora, or a buxom blonde who'd regard me as the greatest thing since sliced bread (umm.. maybe the latter :D), it did revolve around a vocation which I'd love to pursue. Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out what that is, in the last 26 years.

Currently I'm stuck in a job that I do not mind one bit, though it does involve reporting to one particularly nasty specimen of the human race. An outstanding example of spineless sycophancy liberally garnished with slimy hypocrisy!

Strike One!

Non-platonic relationships:
Biggest catastrophe EVER. Single since 1982, destined to remain so!

My problem is that I'm not a peoples person. Period. So if someone calls me on the phone and starts wailing after the customary 'Hello', the kindest thing I can do for her is probably slam the phone, and the cruelest, that would be trying to help her out with advice.

And the worst part is the crappy Malayalam soap emotional drama monologues "You are not the same, Eby", "All guys are the same" punctuated with sobs of a size that would solve the water problems of Somalia. Let it be known that the only things I like fat are my bean bags, my grilled chicken and my utopian paycheque.

I want to be with the woman I love, not just on some crappy Valentine's day, but everyday... And I want her to love me back... And then I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that that's never going to happen... Joey, yeah, but still bullseye...

Strike Two!

The next pitch:
Homerun or will I hear "Strike Three! You're out!"?

Curiosity killed the centaur :P

Dan Brown's "The Lost Symbol" sucks major :(