Old hopes are alive at a forsaken door
Left with nothing and still I want more
Changing my heart
Knowing who I am
Sweetheart, bitterheart
now I can't tell them apart
A hope with a tear in his eye
Too scared to own up to one little lie
I think I should have missed you so much.
I can't help but..
they never fail to send me back into the box called happy memories.
they never fail to cause a smile in my heart.
The last day ever.
No procrastination.
No compromises.
Dwindling weeks...
PRESENT
I:
-am trusting
-believe in others
-am a peacemaker
-want to establish goals
-become frustrated easily
-like to finish what i start
-tend to withdraw under pressure
-delegate
-will do things on impulse
-want things precise
-am overloaded with details
-want to move on
-like to spend quality time with others
-think that rules are boring, but I wouldn't challenge rules
-am predictable & consistent
-will do as told, follows leader
-will get the facts, i won't take sides...
-am systematic and logical
-am animated and i laugh out loud.
-want clear directions
BUT
I:
-am not tolerant
-am not sociable
-am not good at encouraging others
-don't stand up to opposition
-am not lively, talkative
-don't manage my time efficiently
-don't over-promise
-am not thrifty
-am not open to changes
-don't openly display feelings
-am not bold, daring
-am not prepared for the future
-am not careful and cautious
-am easily defeated
-am not a leader
-am not optimistic
FUTURE
I will:
-be more tolerant and control my temper
-try to be more of a people's person
-stand up for myself and my viewpoint
-try to manage my time more efficiently(set my priorities right)
-not give up easily
-will plan my spending well, need comes before want
-be braver when facing challenges
-try to cope better under pressure
-plan for my future
-be more careful in my actions, words, and attitude
-think more positively, & not have undue worries
-be more creative :)
I always thought I was the only one (but it doesn't seem the case). Although I gained(and lost), I still think it is the right choice
I never wanted to make things this worse. but you were the one, the one who disallowed room for negotiation. I'm not the little boy anymore. It's time for me to take flight, isn't it? You will not understand my thoughts, just like how you say I will never understand yours.
There is pain inside... A lot of it... Of an intensity that is alarming, even by my standards... Coming from deep within my chest, kicking its way out, and through my ribs, nowhere less...
Pain is a part of growing up... Grown up. Adult. I am 25 years old and the last seven years I have spent feeling undeserving of the title "Grown up", "Adult". I felt like an impostor. I don't anymore.
"Sorry" - The oft-used word, with not-so-oft-meant intentions...
Why do I hear that resounding echo in my ears?? All I did was talk to myself... For a little while...
I lay my partially bare soul out on this page with my thoughts, provocative and plain, and musings of my life around me.
I live in a completely foreign world where familiarity is in want, and all I am left with are memories.
I'm not emo... Just honest.
This is where life finds me. This is where I want you to find me.
Feeling : Unheard
Listening : Carousel - Linkin Park
Left with nothing and still I want more
Changing my heart
Knowing who I am
Sweetheart, bitterheart
now I can't tell them apart
A hope with a tear in his eye
Too scared to own up to one little lie
I think I should have missed you so much.
I can't help but..
they never fail to send me back into the box called happy memories.
they never fail to cause a smile in my heart.
The last day ever.
No procrastination.
No compromises.
Dwindling weeks...
PRESENT
I:
-am trusting
-believe in others
-am a peacemaker
-want to establish goals
-become frustrated easily
-like to finish what i start
-tend to withdraw under pressure
-delegate
-will do things on impulse
-want things precise
-am overloaded with details
-want to move on
-like to spend quality time with others
-think that rules are boring, but I wouldn't challenge rules
-am predictable & consistent
-will do as told, follows leader
-will get the facts, i won't take sides...
-am systematic and logical
-am animated and i laugh out loud.
-want clear directions
BUT
I:
-am not tolerant
-am not sociable
-am not good at encouraging others
-don't stand up to opposition
-am not lively, talkative
-don't manage my time efficiently
-don't over-promise
-am not thrifty
-am not open to changes
-don't openly display feelings
-am not bold, daring
-am not prepared for the future
-am not careful and cautious
-am easily defeated
-am not a leader
-am not optimistic
FUTURE
I will:
-be more tolerant and control my temper
-try to be more of a people's person
-stand up for myself and my viewpoint
-try to manage my time more efficiently(set my priorities right)
-not give up easily
-will plan my spending well, need comes before want
-be braver when facing challenges
-try to cope better under pressure
-plan for my future
-be more careful in my actions, words, and attitude
-think more positively, & not have undue worries
-be more creative :)
I always thought I was the only one (but it doesn't seem the case). Although I gained(and lost), I still think it is the right choice
I never wanted to make things this worse. but you were the one, the one who disallowed room for negotiation. I'm not the little boy anymore. It's time for me to take flight, isn't it? You will not understand my thoughts, just like how you say I will never understand yours.
There is pain inside... A lot of it... Of an intensity that is alarming, even by my standards... Coming from deep within my chest, kicking its way out, and through my ribs, nowhere less...
Pain is a part of growing up... Grown up. Adult. I am 25 years old and the last seven years I have spent feeling undeserving of the title "Grown up", "Adult". I felt like an impostor. I don't anymore.
"Sorry" - The oft-used word, with not-so-oft-meant intentions...
Why do I hear that resounding echo in my ears?? All I did was talk to myself... For a little while...
I lay my partially bare soul out on this page with my thoughts, provocative and plain, and musings of my life around me.
I live in a completely foreign world where familiarity is in want, and all I am left with are memories.
I'm not emo... Just honest.
This is where life finds me. This is where I want you to find me.
Feeling : Unheard
Listening : Carousel - Linkin Park
