A Restless Reprise

I have felt pain every time I walked another step forward, yet after having moved even one step back, I've known that regression and giving up were not options for me.

I've felt the emptiness of separation as I've moved in the wrong direction. I've learnt the arts of persistence, tenacity and dedication.

I know how it feels to watch my world and my dreams shatter into a million pieces at my feet. I know what its like to run and run till there is nothing left inside you, and then to run some more.

I know how it feels to be loved and how it feels when feelings grow hard and cold. I know what it is to love and what it feels like to have something, that means so much to me that it becomes me.

I know hope is my last refuge. I know that darkness must exist if only to make those tiny pinpoints of light seem so much brighter. I believe in miracles, I believe in angels, I believe in myself at all times, even when no one else does.

I know how it feels to be lost in a crowd of familiar faces. I know how it feels when for one moment you are the star of the show. I know that waking up each morning is being blessed by the day that lies ahead.

I know that all this has made me ME and through this I'm winning the most important race ever ever, the race I entered at birth, the race I call my Life.


Feeling : Mazed

Listening : Ek Ladki Bheegi Bhaagi Si - Kishore Kumar :)

Laying it out

Well someone left a comment on my post-Parichay frustration vent, both of which you can see here.

Now I'm writing about it here as part of a post, since that person has used an open ID to leave that comment, so if I do reply there, I'm not sure he will get it. So Satya (assuming that is indeed your name), here you go...

I need you to answer these questions first:

1. If Iron Maiden comes to Delhi live in concert, would you ask them to play "Kajra Re" as part of the show? After all Indian audience...
2. If you worked towards a dream for 3 months, and some complete prick comes off the proverbial by-lane and trashes your efforts in 3 seconds, would you sit there with a cheek-to-cheek grin and say "Have a nice day"?
3. If you do not have the courage or the passion it takes to dance, or the calibre it takes to organize an event on the scale of Parichay, would you get up and offer free advice to those who do and expect complete subservience in return?

If you have answered in affirmative to any of the questions above, please send me an X-Ray of your head, because I really do not understand the way your brain works.

If you have answered "NO" to any of the questions please read on else skip the next 16 paragraphs. I'm sure you would have better stuff to do than peruse my ravaging rants.

Speaking for myself, I dance for music and music alone. I listen to songs irrespective of the language. I cannot understand half the English songs and none of the Tamil, Telugu and Malayalam songs that I listen to.

I did not understand a single word of the Tamil song that we performed to. Yet I danced to it and I enjoyed doing it. Because dance does not have a linguistic barrier.

When we were dancing to whichever song of whichever language, the public was enjoying themselves. We did not have a single BOO of boredom from the crowd, even for the slow performances. Then why did some imbeciles raise BB topics with a subject line "Parichay awesome but..."?

Parichay is our dream, our hard work, something for which we sacrificed a lot, to bring it to reality. Put yourself in my place and tell me you wouldn't feel disappointed or angry.

If we had played a Telugu song, lets say a Chiranjeevi number, then people would have objected saying why wasn't a PawanKalyan/AlluArjun/MegaStar/PowerStar/SuperStar/Pornstar song played? What answer would you have had then?

I have danced to Telugu songs earlier and have enjoyed it immensely as well; but I cannot expect everyone in the Parichay team to subscribe to the same school of thought. And no, I will not choose a Telugu song over any other song if I enjoy the latter more.

People did not have the guts to get up and nominate themselves early when Parichay came knocking; then they hide behind a forum like the BB and hurl bricks. This isn't called regionalistic fervour, its called cowardice.

You talk about my acidic response to what some localites said, you very conveniently ignored what those localites said, to very effectively demolish the efforts that 63 Infoscions put into making Parichay what it became.

You talk about my language and tone of response, you very conveniently ignored the caustic retorts some of those people made on the BB when we were gearing up for Parichay.

You talk about my blog, you very conveniently ignored the damage some of those people did, to our reputations, our relationships, our lives on a forum which caters to a much wider audience.

Mouli, Divya and Madhuri had responded to the Parichay posts on the BB, silly mistake agreed, but did that slip merit the public mocking that Parichay faced, before we even had a chance to perform?

This is what was said about these people:
Mouli - "As far as I know, you're also a part of this, how can you not know about what Parichay is"
Divya - "This little girl is dancing too in Parichay, and she does not know about the practice"
Madhuri - Her name was splashed in yellow in the BB and terms like "ignorance from the organizer" were cast about.
What "adequate grounds" would you use to defend this?

These people are my friends and I will stand up for them.

You may find it easy to be magnanimous Satya, I cannot. I'm sure you have seen me in action on the BB, I'm sure you know how maniacally I fight for whatever I choose, on the BB. Ever seen me fighting there for Parichay?

Never fought, because on the BB, I'm infamous and I did not want my bad reputation rubbing off on Parichay. My passion for Parichay overrode my pride.

A racist is a person who shows racial intolerance. If people post on the BB in Hindi, there is a deluge of protests about vernacular secularism and bleh. But amazing how these same people take part so pro-actively in Telugu Samveta. Ever thought about that? Vernacular Secularism goes on vacation then, is it?

Were the actions of the people who caused this retaliation even morally apt? Ask yourself.

As for the gelling part, I stopped caring about trying to please people all the time, quite a while back. Being nice to people is usually taken by them as an invitation to walk all over you.


Feeling : Crucified

Listening To : Dirt off your shoulder + Lying from you - Collision Course