V for Victory? Also Victimised!

Handed over Angel's relieving letter to her yesterday. Was bestowed with a Nutella for my efforts :D Its chocolate for breakfast next 2 days atleast! The jar won't last beyond that period :P
Victimised is what I have been feeling like, the whole of yesterday... Work's being heaped by shovelfuls plus there is always the dance part to be worked out!

I am gradually approaching a milestone in my life where my work comes first... No longer diverted by other emotions, I work the way a cow grazes. Be it the technical stuff or something like Parichay, its just endless waves of work... I'm starting to lose track of time...

There are frequent moments in life when you feel inundated with a deep, sincere overflowing sense of gratitude to the One sitting up there somewhere...
Like when I am sitting at the window on a cold wintry morning and the Sun suddenly decides to shine through...
Like when I'm lolling around on the terrace in the middle of the afternoon and the heavens decide to pour...
Like when I wake up late on a weekend and find a blue overcast sky with moving clouds outside...
Like Tang-on-the-rocks on a cool breezy evening, sitting in the verandah, with feet propped up on the railing...
Like a phone call or ping from a long lost friend, especially when you are feeling lost...
Like playing a prank on Jay, and almost having her fall for it!
Like the way you feel, when someone tells you they miss you...
Like the truth in your voice, when you realise you miss them too and you tell them so...
Like having a special someone fall asleep on your shoulders, at just the right spot, during a long train journey...
Like watching her wake up because of a train jolt, and then blushing under your gaze...
Like a kiss being placed at the spot between your left cheek hollow and your mouth, once she's done blushing...
Like a first kiss, under a sky swept clean of clouds and awash with stars, as the train sped across open fields...
Like a good hot meal of mom-made daal and roti...
Like piping hot tandoori chicken...
Like listening to Yeh Haseen Vadiyan from Roja...
Like watching The Lion King for the gazillionth time......
Like a laughing newborn...
Like a stupid joke...
Like a flowing river or a restless sea...
Like the current wallpaper on my laptop (Angel and me)...
Like a nice memory...
Like a rainbow...

I'm waiting to see a rainbow... Its been raining intermittently here past few days, and I have been having this weird intuition telling me that if I see a rainbow, my chaotic life will fall into place... Every single bit... No I'm not superstitious, but I'm not able to get rid of this strong feeling somehow... Its just taken hold of something inside...

Why is a peaceful co-existence so important?? Is it impossible for every person to exist in his own harmony?? Is the universe so vast that we need others to make it to the other end??

Are we that alone??

Am I that alone??


Mood : Haunted to be Wanted

Music : Yeh Haseen Vadiyan - Roja

Dog-Tired

What a yesterday.... Now I know what a juggler goes through... Except that I juggle with chainsaws instead of plastic balls!

4.03 AM - Wake up

5.03 AM - Yesterday's post

6.03 AM - Walk down to the bike and then decide to skip gym and head back to the warm bed upstairs :)

7.03 AM - ZZZZZ!

8.03 AM - Huh... What... Office... Shit!

9.03 AM - Gulping down smoked Maggi!

10.03 AM - Running around to get a call booked for a new request...

11.03 AM - Sitting in the call yawning my head off...

12.03 AM - Trying to explain to onsite why I still haven't been able to finish an enhancement given to me more than a month ago :(

1.03 PM - A long walk to Subway, while trying to decide the sequence flow and song duration for Parichay

2.03 PM - Taking an Endevor session for the new resource who would soon be going onsite...

3.03 PM - Attempting to explain to my SPM why I did not attend a session I was supposed to, while trying to avoid his burning glare!

4.03 PM - Convincing people to stick to the songs they have been allocated, instead of whining endlessly.

5.03 PM - Running to and fro with the phone stuck to my ear, trying to get Angel's relieving letter!

6.03 PM - Angel's letter in my hand, or rather stuck to my shoe soles, while headed to practice!!

7.03 PM - Choreographing Khallas with Ruchi's help

8.03 PM - Having Udatta come in and change all the steps!

9.03 PM - Coming back to desk, sending a mail onsite, giving status updates, scarpering for the day...

10.03 PM - Reaching home...

11.03 PM - #&#^Woozy$%

Life is very dithery right now... Probably gonna stay this way for the next 2 months... Damn...

Angel's officially outta Infy now... She can join the other place and have the unemployed tag removed from her head! But I still have your letter Angel... MUHAHAHA ***evil laugh***!! Nutella will not suffice now!! And the only time I'm available is at 4 in the morning, so wake up then and gimme a call :P

No mood to go to the gym now... Lets see how I feel an hour later... Ciao... Have a great day!


Feeling : Lax

Listening : Nobody Like You - Mission Istaanbul

In Memoriam

Prabhakar, the colleague of mine who met with an accident 3 weeks ago, was transferred from ICU to the general ward on Friday. He was only on dialysis as his kidneys were still not functioning, but otherwise was said to be recovering. On Saturday, he developed internal infections on his exposed wounds and succumbed to his injuries at 4 in the evening. A sad day for his family.

I know I have been very blunt in writing about his death. Although somehow I would have preferred death over the life that survival would have offered me. I would have lost all will to live with a quarter of my body missing.

All I can do is keep him in my prayers and intercede for his soul.

Angel's having to do a lot of running now, because she still hasn't got all her clearances from Infy. I don't understand the stupid policies. For eg, you have to take a no-due clearance from the libraries of ALL DCs even if you have never been to any of them locations. WTF!

Hopefully things will work out in her favour soon. Fingers crossed, elbows twisted!

Bucketloads of work at office yesterday, plus the moral responsibilty of attending Parichay practice, damn life's running on single battery, double power... I'd love a vacation right about now.

As a youngster, I remember my mom always telling me not to waste food, water, electricity etc. Money especially... No going to school and spending 10 bucks on an egg-roll just because I felt like it. No my folks weren't stingy, but Saving was a way of life and sometimes it drove me crazy. I wanted to be wasteful, to splurge. To my fascinated mind, waste meant affluence and I wanted to indulge in it. I wanted to throw away things, knowing that there would always be more.

Maturity comes at a point when you learn, painfully, that sometimes there just isn't anymore. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken... And heal it when it's sick.

This is true: For relationships... And old cars... And children with bad report cards... Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close! Atleast I try...

Once I set people as my priority, it destroyed half my life. I kept them away, they called me a loner. Now I try to make friends, they sense trouble. I've had enough. I will again set people as my priority and they will destroy me fully. All will end.

Scarface, I don't believe I have ever said anything to indicate that I do not want you involved in my life. But I cannot make efforts forever. I played my part, I'm done with my struggles.


Feeling: Lost

Listening: Khuda Jaane - Bachna Ae Haseenon